Cancerversary
“I’ve been fighting non-invasive bladder cancer since January 2016.”
Bladdergraffiti
“That image of the bladder-flower on the screen stays with me, a blemish on an otherwise clear surface – like graffiti on a newly painted wall.”
Cystoscopy nitty gritty
“A visual of inside my own bladder – that’s what a cystoscopy gives you.”
Operation TURBT (transurethral resection of bladder tumour)
“Naked beneath the ballbown.”
Mitomycin C aka “purple rain”
“I disappear down a chemo rabbit hole and hibernate.”
Check-up angst
„ Are they even butterflies? And why early?“
Chemo days
“I stood in front of it for a long time. Staring. My bladder full of chemo and my heart longing for tea.”
EMDA with Mitomycin C – procedure
“It felt warm and a little like pins and needles on my lower belly. I was relieved that my bladder didn’t feel irritated or unhappy and closed my eyes..”
EMDA with Mitomycin C – effects
“I tried to ignore the headache in the excitement of escaping early and when the hurricane passed I felt washed out, grey and listless with hardly any energy.”
Hospital superheroes
“The masks emphasize the hospital-staff-superhero-qualities even more, I’m in awe of the patience and compassion I receive and witness every hour day and night.”
Cystoscopy ‘scanxiety’
“…it’s reassuring to be able to see that everything is alright (or not) but on the other the lead up is so nerve wracking. It’s called ‘scanxiety’ for a reason. “
Own four walls
“My physical world has shrunk to my own four walls, small garden and immediate neighbourhood.”
Omens and obstacles
“Kiki the cat had peed in the bathtub and the pee was bloody!”
Bladder-cancer-warrior-with-wings
“You’ve gotta be your own guardian-angel. I’ve become mine. Practicing meditation, breathing and yoga help boost my body’s defences, strengthen immunity, calm my fears and ease my stress.”
Inner strength
“Love. Inside love that glows and beats with my heart and outside love that smiles, laughs and hugs.”
Real revelations
“It felt like very firmly grasping opportunities by the tail and saying “yes” this is the way forward with my head and my heart.”
Myself and I
“The nearer it gets the more I only have the test in sight.”
Love, peace and unity
“Thank you for reading and I wish you a unified, peaceful and loving end to 2020!”
Swimmingly
“I literally floated home and things have been going swimmingly ever since.”
Out of sorts
“.. I’ve been feeling fearful and emotionally a bit out of sorts lately and have tried to identify why.”
Screenings
“Cystoscopies haven’t been the only screenings I’ve had this year.”
Unzipping the future
“I can’t help wanting to unzip the future and peer into 10 days from now to know the results and have the turbt operation behind me.”
#50 Mitomycin
“It amazes me because this poisonous and toxic liquid stays in my bladder for 90 minutes and it’s been in there 50 times!”
Daring to hope
I’m staying present, staying well in mind and body and daring to hope for some healthly light on the horizon.
Peace of mind
“My recent NED (no evidence of disease) has bought me another 3 months of peace for which I am extremely grateful. “
Perfecting hospital packing
“the plugs in the hospital I go to are situated for hospital not patient convenience. I would never have thought of an extension lead…”
BCG treatment – organic gardening in the bladder
“…organic gardening because it encourages a healthy ecosystem in the bladder. Chemotherapy like Mitomycin is more like weedkiller in its approach.”
BCG 1&2 – drink water, water and more water
“Drink as much fluid as possible, water, herbal tea and juice to literally flush everything out.”
BCG 3&4 – strengthen the immune system
“I’m not going to join my Wim Hoff trained yoga teacher in his outdoor ice bath any day soon but I do appreciate the benefits.”
BCG 5&6 – rest and digest
“Shavasana allows the parasympathetic nervous system (otherwise known as rest and digest) to kick in.”
BCG 7, 8 & 9 – Bladder love
“I try to love my bladder despite what it throws at me.”
Bright-red-patches-of-inflammation again!
‘No tumours thankfully but bright-red-patches-of-inflammation again / still.’
Gepan – battered bladder support
“I’m not cured by any means but Gepan has been tremendous support for my battered bladder and has made a significant difference to my quality of life.”
Bladder healing & CT scanxiety
“It’s still very inflamed but overall more orange than red.”
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Bladdergraffiti 