Being a Piscean I’ve just ‘celebrated’ my second birthday in the corona pandemic. This time last year we were all ignorant of just how long this would go on for and how much our lives would be impacted. My heart goes out to all those who’ve had it,or have lost someone to it and who have suffered at a distance away from their loved ones.
The numbers here in Germany are on the rise again and stricter lockdown is being threatened. Gradually even people I know are being vaccinated and GPs will soon be able to administer the vaccines too. Dare we hope for a spot – those of us with pre-existing conditions like cancer? I decided not to stress about it – I’ll trust that I’ll hear from my doctor when it’s my turn. Due to my regular hospital treatment, I’ve had 10 COVID tests (all negative) so far and my next is in ten days. But before that it’s cystoscopy time again on Friday. It’s only 291 days since my last negative cystoscopy and I’m daring to hope that the EMDA therapy with mitomycin is working enough to ensure the prized ‘NED’ no evidence of disease.
My CT scan in February was all clear so that bodes well but nothing is sure. I’m trying to trust that too and not worry or dwell on things. It’s very much easier said than done. Something that helps me is not sending the second arrow.
Thich Nhat Hanh beautifully describes the Buddhist teaching about arrows.
The first arrow is any misfortune that occurs that can happen to everyone. But “the second arrow, fired by our own selves, is our reaction our storyline and our anxiety. All these things magnify the suffering. Many times, the ultimate disaster we’re ruminating upon hasn’t even happened.”
So, I’m staying present, staying well in mind and body and daring to hope for some healthly light on the horizon.