Thursday was a strange day that gave me glimpses of the future. Like a déjà vu in reserve into the near and mid-future. 30 July a pre-op in the morning and a yoga practice lesson in the evening.
I’ve had ten pre-op appointments at the same hospital, this time it was for treatment – a new treatment EMDA – using the same chemo I’ve had 42 times before. I’d been told it would be 6 weeks once a week initially then monthly for a while. The doctor I saw reiterated that they don’t do the treatment often as not many have multiple recurrences without progression. I asked how long the chemo is kept in the bladder. EMDA is 30 mins and keeping the chemo in afterwards for 2 hours is ideal. She found a solution for vegan food for overnight stays and even verbally high fived me saying she’d like to be vegan too.
Later that day I did a practice yoga lesson as part of my teacher training course. It was challenging – giving instructions has never been a strong teaching point of mine – and in my second language too, but I absolutely loved it. I started the course to dive deeper and learn more and suffered yoga-teacher-imposter-syndrome. Not good enough, not flexible enough, not experienced enough. On Thursday I learned it is about guiding others towards a deeper practice and I can do that. I can relay my know-how about the good yoga does and I can do that happily and in my own unique way. Understanding that was a revelation about what the future may hold. It was a glimpse of two opportunities one of healing with help from EMDA and one of sharing yoga more in the future. It felt like very firmly grasping opportunities by the tail and saying “yes” this is the way forward with my head and my heart.