“Imagine a summer cornfield as a background, that’s the bladder lining, and just as poppies pop up in fields and stand out against the corn, so these poppy-red-patches pop against the otherwise pinkish lining.” Poppy mural by mrgraffiti.de photo by howlzap Cologne

It was cystoscopy #25 last week.

The inside of my bladder didn’t reveal any tumours.

When the camera first focused, I gasped in shock as something pale and gnarly looking loomed into view.

It turned out not to be a tumour, only a craterous scar, of which there are a fair few.

Generally, my bladder looked better than last time – not purple tinged anymore and not as completely fiery red. However, it did reveal several poppy-red-patches.

Imagine a summer cornfield as a background, that’s the bladder lining, and just as poppies pop up in fields and stand out against the corn, so these poppy-red-patches pop against the otherwise pinkish lining. My urologist looked puzzled and declared he didn’t know what they were.

I suggested CIS but he said he didn’t think so. Relief!

We were subdued as he dismantled equipment and I got dressed again. Not the news we were hoping for.

“It is how it is.” I said to myself already feeling the disappointment from my partner, daughter, family, and friends.

The ultrasound was fine and as I’d left a urine sample before the cystoscopy I asked if we could still do an MNP test. We could and we did. It was tumour free!

He recommended a biopsy to establish what the poppy-red-patches were. I wasn’t keen to have another operation it would be #11. But I reluctantly agreed.

I’m booked for a biopsy on 31 January.

My biggest fears are CIS (Carcinoma in situ) or IC (interstitial cystitis). My hope is that those patches are inflammation from all the Mitomycin instillations intensified by EMDA treatment. My bladder is still healing.

In the meantime, I’m looking after me and my bladder and staying positive.

We’ve started ‘Dry January’ early as alcohol seems to inflame the bladder and inflammation is the last thing I need.

Wishing everyone a happy and most importantly healthy 2022.