“I do definitely know how fragile my own stamp of remission is. I’m only as healthy as my last check-up, and my next check-up is literally around the corner on 22 September.”
‘Some day’ East Street Gallery Berlin Wall, Berlin photo by howlzap@ Cologne

Oh! my goodness could it be that ‘some day’ has arrived? I’ve quested after remission as if it’s the Holy Grail since 2016, now it’s here I almost don’t know what to do with it.

Almost.

So many questions and so many doubts swirl around my head.

What does it even mean, remission?

Have I understood it correctly?

Am I free of feeling like a cancer patient?

Does remission even exist for bladder cancer patients?

Being in remission and staying in remission aren’t the same thing, right?

Will I be tempting fate?

How long will it last?

Is it real?

Can I still write this blog anymore?

So remission is defined on www.cancer.net as: “cancer cannot be detected in the body and there are no symptoms. It may also be called having NED (no evidence of disease).“

But on www.cancer.org in the bladder cancer section, in living as a cancer survivor it says: “For other people cancer may never go away completely or might come back in another part of the body.”

At my favourite bladder cancer site BCAN a search for remission turned up 0 hits, which may well be revealing in itself.

My own definition of remission is: “no longer in active treatment (√ tick), the last check up and cystology showed NED (√ tick) and being one year clear (√ tick).“

That said I do definitely know how fragile my own stamp of remission is. I’m only as healthy as my last check-up, and my next check-up is literally around the corner on 22 September.

So, the recipe is carry on doing what you’re doing to look after yourself;

  • eat lots of veggies
  • avoid sugar
  • get enough sleep
  • take supplements
  • meditate
  • do yoga
  • reduce stress
  • do things that make you happy and
  • connect and spend time with loved ones.

And perhaps most importantly believe it’s here and that I deserve it.